Three-month reflection
Don’t get me wrong, I love Colombia, but being here for almost three months there are some things I have come to notice that I cannot understand for the life of me. Unfortunately, this is only my second post on Colombia so I haven’t had a chance to highlight all the wonderful things about this country. Not to worry those posts will be forthcoming. However, in the meantime I offer you a foray into some of the less alluring facets of Colombian culture. For those of you living in Colombia I hope you share some hearty laughs and sighs; for the rest of you, I guess it’s time to come visit.
1.
Bureaucracy. Everything takes forever. Anyone that has traveled in third world countries should be well attuned to this fact; nevertheless, it never fails to amaze me how long basic things can take. Clearly the concept of efficiency has yet to permeate the majority of the world. Standing in lines, completing proper forms, and speaking with customer service representatives can well consume your entire day. Everything from extracting money from an ATM, purchasing groceries, and returning a purchase can and will consume at least an hour. When you get to more complicated endeavors- visas, opening a bank account, phone lines- the process can take upwards of weeks and months.
Luckily, Colombia has been better on this front than many other places I have traveled to; however, the country still leaves much to be desired in this realm. Purchasing a cellphone and account took only a day; the visa two weeks; and the cedula three days. Although not outrageously lengthy, most of those endeavors required multiple trips to the various locations and a huge outlay of time and energy. Often I had to return only to be told I needed another paper or document fotocopied. Most frustrating, I was often told I could not acquire something without first having a document that was still pending approval. Nonetheless, I am proud to say that at the two-month point all of the major necessities- visa, bank account, cell phone, cedula- are in order and running smoothly.
2.
Public Transportation and PedestriansGoing anywhere in this city is a burden. Public transportation is an atrocity and crossing the street is a treacherous activity. To get anywhere in the city you have four basic options: the transmilenio, buses, taxis, or walking.
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The transmilenio: The transmilenio is a public transportation system that was created in leiu of a metro. It involves devoting two lanes of all the major streets lanes to special “rapid transit buses.” These routes traverse the entire city and the buses move with relative speed, although they must still respect stoplights and other traffic laws. This system is extremely beneficial to cities that lack the infrastructure, capital, time, or technology to invest in building a metro system. Bogota’s transmilenio system is used by the majority of the city’s population and has done a wonderful job bridging communities in the far south and the far north. Unfortunately, the system is too popular. Getting on and off the bus is an ordeal. At most hours of the day you find yourself wedged between people barely able to breathe and much less protect your belongings. Worst of all, everyone knows the pain of getting on and off the train, so they cluster near the entrances making it that much more difficult. Nonetheless, life without the transmilenio would be miserable, so at the end of the day I’m grateful that there is some rapid-ish system of transport.
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Buses: Buses are everywhere, but quite simply they are a pain in the ass.
They require intensive knowledge of city routes and an uncanny ability to board and exit while the vehicle is in motion. All of the city buses are privately owned making the routes somewhat random, and often overlapping. Routes are advertised via a small cardboard sign on the front window, which is often difficult to read until it is within several feet. Unfortunately, the fact that these are all privately owned buses wherein drivers are paid a commission based on number of passengers acquired compounded with the difficulty of discerning the routes from afar, create a situation of jerky, erratic driving. Beyond these difficulties, the buses are also notoriously uncomfortable and dangerous. Entering requires nimble maneuvering of an imposing twirly gate, decrepit seats, and a cramped ride. Finally, these buses are sometimes boarded by bands of armed youth, who proceed to rob all passengers of their belongings.
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Taxis: Taxis are by far the most reliable form of transportation, and unlike most things in Colombia, they are actually affordable. Unfortunately, taking a taxi is not all that simple. Due to the security situation and the ploy “paseo mileonario,” which involves two armed men entering a cab and then driving you to every ATM in the city and then ditching you in a random obscure location, Colombian’s have invented an intricate taxi security system. From any home phone line you can call a cab service, upon which you receive an automated message detailing the license plate of the cab and your passcode (the last two digits of the phone you called from). This system serves to ensure the safety of both the taxi driver and the rider, as you are both forced to verify the validity of the service. These cabs are then monitored by GPS by the various authorized taxi companies. This system works relatively flawlessly and is quite intuitive. Unfortunately, you are not always in a place where you can call a cab from a fixed line. (For example, my apartment doesn’t even have a fixed line so I am forced to call from my cellphone, which consumes minutes and time, and is outrageously expensive). Often, you are in a rush, outside, or leaving a bar or restaurant. Also, if it is raining outside or peak hours, you are often left waiting on the phone for 10 minutes only to be told that no cabs could be located at the time. This often creates a situation wherein you take cabs from the street and cross your fingers praying for the safety of your wallet and your person.
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Walking (more like running): In addition to all the staring you have to endure while walking, you must constantly worry about being run over. Pedestrian right of way is nonexistent and there is absolutely no respect for walkers. In fact, drivers seems to get intense satisfaction out of knowing they forced you to quicken your pace or sprint to avoid death. Walk at your own risk.
3.
Que Pena. The word sorry officially does not exist in Colombia. This seems to be indicative of a culture with little accountability wherein no one is forced to acknowledge the consequences of their actions. However, in many countries in Latin America (with similarly low levels of accountability), people tend to say sorry or “lo siento.” In Colombia this would be a met with blank states. Whenever you commit any action that should merit an apology, the more appropriate response is, “que pena,” roughly translated to “what a shame.” For instance, this past weekend I was at a concert, when a heavily inebriated Colombian girl accidently smacked me in the face. The appropriate response, “que pena con usted” or “what a shame that I just hit you in the face.”
Interestingly, que pena can be applied to a myriad of situations. For instance if you cancel last minute on a meeting (which happens quite frequently) que pena suffices. If something does not arrive on time- que pena, if an event is canceled without prior notification- que pena. You get the idea.
4.
Si when no. In Colombia it is culturally unacceptable to say no. The correct (and polite) approach is to say yes “si” and then later call and say no (in addition to a “que pena”). This cultural aspect flabbergasts and infuriates me. For instance, if you know for certain you will be out of town and someone invites you over for dinner during that time you must say yes, knowing you will then have to cancel. Saying no is taken as an extreme offense and a rebuff, even if you have previous plans and would really like to arrange a time to meet that could actually work for both parties. What this ends up meaning, at least for us gringo folk, is that we tend to believe when people tell us they plan on doing something. As such, we plan our day, and maybe week, around this purported event only to find out later that it has been cancelled or postponed. Not only is this approach to social interaction inefficient and disrespectful of people’s time, but also downright confusing.
5.
Phones. (no email) Colombia is probably the most peculiar country I’ve encountered when it comes to phone communication. This country is run entirely on phone calls; however, they are outrageously expensive and inefficient. One of the first things I learned upon getting to Colombia was that I would have to become very comfortable with cold calling random strangers. Literally any inquiry or conversation initiation is done by phone. Colombians seems to not like to use email. It often takes weeks, if ever, for an email to be returned. More commonly, however, email addresses are simply not listed and instead a number is provided. Interestingly, Colombians, no matter their social-economic statue seem to have no problem giving their cellphone number to everyone.
Now the peculiarity does not stop there. In Colombia there are three major cellphone providers: Comcel, Moviestar, and Tigo. Calling from one provider to another is double to triple the price of calling someone with the same operator. (A couple minute phone call can end up running several dollars). Thus hundreds of thousands of Colombians have taken to the streets selling “minutos” (minutes). On every street corner there are vendors hawking minutes to any operator for 150-200 pesos (7-5 cents) a minute. The vendor will have three phones (one for every operator) and you will place your call right there on the street. Unfortunately, this creates a situation whereby you are constantly receiving calls from random numbers with no way to screen calls. You are forced to pick up every random phone call for fear it could be important. Even more annoying is the fact that no one ever leaves voicemails. Often you will find six missed calls from random numbers with no idea of who called you and no way to call back (you would just be calling a street phone). Also, because all phone calls are priced by the minute, people tend to be super abrupt on the phone. In attempts to keep conversations under one minute, people hastily answer and hang-up the phone which can sometimes be offending.
6.
Tiempo Colombiano. Nothing happens on time. *Que pena* Enough said.
7.
Basic things are expensive. Since when does a notebook cost 5 USD? An arugula salad 7 USD? Basic Nike tennis shoes 150 + USD? A pen 3 USD? Body wash 6 USD? Unfortunately, this is the reality of life in Colombia. I recognize that this unfortunate pricing scheme is probably attributable to the high tariffs we levy on imported goods and the languishing free trade agreement, but still. I don’t understand how Colombians, who earn meager incomes relative to the high cost of living, can afford these products. How are these prices seen as acceptable? Most Colombians regard these prices as normal, and I guess I would too if I had no basis for comparison. Unfortunately, to afford a decent standard of living here in Bogota, and most big cities in Colombia, I imagine most families must live under a heavy debt load. Going to a store to buy simple school supplies, it immediately becomes clear why many families cannot afford to send their children to school, even given the high opportunity cost of forgoing an education. While many lament wholesale retailers like Walmart, Ross, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, we need to take a step back and recognize that these retailers help balance the playing field, and make quality goods affordable to people from all income levels.
8.
Staring (especially the men). In the US, if someone catches you staring at them, you usually experience a dash of embarrassment and quickly divert your eyes, lest you make prolonged eye contact. Here, if you catch someone staring at you, they continue to pierce you with their eyes and do everything possible not to look away. Not surprisingly, this creates quite awkward situations (well at least for those of us not accustomed to staring contests with complete strangers).
Not only do these staring contest occur with great frequency, but also, staring in general is pervasive. This often makes walking down the street uncomfortable, especially for women. Men whistle and share unfortunate commentaries of “hola mami, princesa, precisosa, mamasota, ect (mami, princess, precious, super sexy mami)….” Walking to the gym is especially problematic as the men are unaccustomed to seeing women in shorts. (Women here do not wear shorts. In fact, no one wears shorts. It must be uncomfortable to workout in sweatpants. There are some things I am just unwilling to adapt and my exercise wardrobe happens to be one such thing; even if I have to endure 5,000 stares in the 5 blocks to my gym, shorts are a necessity. I realize this is becoming a tangent but while on the topic of the gym it is important to note that people here do not wear gym clothes to and from the gym, especially the women. Women arrive at the gym looking spectacular, change in the dressing room, and proceed to barely sweat for the next hour; they wrap up by showering, straightening their hair, and applying makeup- all before leaving the gym. Seriously, this routine strikes me as exhausting and restricting. I much prefer to arrive and leave the gym in my workout clothes and shower in the comfort of my home- but hey that’s just me).
9.
Machismo. Men are expected to pay for everything. One of my Colombian guy friends said to me the other day, “Wow you leave your house with so much money (20 bucks), women here never leave with more than 10 mil pesos (~$ USD 5) because they expect/know that men will pay for them.” I guess this phenomenon is another manifestation of machismo, but the repercussions for both sexes are disastrous. By always expecting men to pay and never offering, women inadvertently bestow power on men and fail to embrace the idea of independence. Conversely, by paying for everything, men continue to see themselves as the primary or only breadwinner, and do not fully value women (in all realms- opinions, economic worth, as a partner). Moreover, it perpetuates a culture in which young pretty women are constantly seeking out older (mostly unattractive) men with money. Obviously this occurs in all countries, but in Colombia this is taken to another level, especially given the prevalence of drug money floating around the economy.
10.
Fingerprints. Sometimes I feel illiterate in Colombia. You may be wondering why. On any form of any import you are required to sign with fingerprints. This includes any large purchase, bank account, cellphone statements, ect… Understandably, security concerns are of a larger magnitude here in Colombia, however, constant fingerprinting seems excessive. For instance, even to enter and exit my gym, I am required to place my fingerprints under an electronic scanner!
11.
General insecurity and theft. In the less than three months I have been here I have had a cellphone, a camera, and 300 USD stolen. Granted that the cellphone was probably the result of lack of diligent care while out clubbing, the camera was snapped from a zipped jacket pocket while touring the streets of Medellin. Unfortunately, Colombia is well known for pervasive robbery, sometimes even among friends. A careful polling of current Fulbrighters revealed that the majority of us have been robbed, many at knife point. This dynamic makes day-to-day activities especially taxing. I am constantly worried about my belongings, and often alter my plans to ensure the safety of my goods. Especially frustrating is not being able to bring my computer out of the house without significant risk. I find it extremely challenging to work in my bedroom, and especially while on my bed; in college I always worked in the computer lab, the library, or a cafe. With Colombian’s renowned coffee and plush Juan Valdez (akin to Starbucks) just blocks away, I would love to be able to plop down for hours at a time and be productive.
In addition to constantly being worried about your material belongings, it is disconcerting not to be able to trust anyone. In Colombia they even have a saying that they don’t even trust their own mother. Knowing that a forgotten cellphone, credit card, or identification card would be returned in .001% of cases, even among the elite, is depressing and telling. Coming from the Claremont cocoon where a dropped ID card or cellphone immediately yielded an email filled with worry and an offer to return the good at your earliest convenience, this has been quite jarring. On a personal level, it is disheartening to constantly be second-guessing those around me, and over time, I suspect could lead to a calloused perception of the human spirit.
In sum, my dear United States, oh how I miss thee. Still, I appreciate you too, beautiful Colombia, even with your foibles.